I NEED A FRIEND

I love my life

I love nature, love my family

I do everything with such joy and delight

I love to smile

Once again, I love my life

I have a lot of friends

Scratch that, I have a friend

Not particularly a friend but I see her as one

MY MUM!

I need a friend

Someone I talk to, laugh and play with

Only that part of my life had a bit of blemish

However, I still loved it

My mum knew of this situation

She always encouraged me to reach out to others

Make friends, have better and intimate relationships

She felt that my scale of success

Was dependent on my network of friends

I knew she was right

The next day was the beginning of another school week

I had to make this happen

I could not wait for this day

And when it came …

I set out early, happy, and ready

Ready for a new experience

Probably a life-changing one

I was at school by 7am

This was rather quite early

Only few teachers had arrived

So I waited, waited for someone

Someone I could talk to

Someone to connect with

Few minutes later, I saw a boy walking swiftly

The time had come to make friends

Judging from his looks, he was about my age

I approached him quite scared

“Hi, my name is Dave and you are” I said

“Timothy” he said as he continued to walk by

He was obviously rushing to finish up his homework

I would definitely meet other friends, I thought to myself

However, I was wrong, that was probably the nicest response

Moments later, a girl came up

Introducing myself like I did earlier

“How can I help you?” she replied

With a smile on my face, I responded

“I just want to be your friend.”

As if I was a jungle monster

She ran away as fast as her legs could possibly carry her

She kept on running even after she had climbed the stairs

A boy who I had always seen around school came

He was slightly taller than I was

And he really looked like a nerd

Full hair, glasses, he just looked like them

“Eureka!” I said to myself

With so much joy, I introduced myself like I had done earlier

Told him of my intention to be his friend

He stared at me for a few seconds

Then he began to laugh, he really laughed so hard

Expecting an instant YES

Well nothing close to that

After he was done laughing, he answered

“Your friend, you do not deserve a friend and

No one would ever want to be your friend

So do not bother trying.”

He left and continued to laugh

That was it I give up

I went to the school hall and sat at a corner

Looking at the wall clock, it was 7:45 am

45 minutes of trying and failing

It was this time that most people resumed

As I could hear people talking and laughing as they entered

At that very moment, I began to cry, cry uncontrollably

What can I possibly do?

We all know that humans are social beings and life would be boring if we live a life of solitude. God knew all these that is why he said it is not good for a man to be alone and he decided to send him a companion.

The value of friends cannot be overemphasized, good friends especially. Without doubt, there are still many people out there that have no friends and very few acquaintances. What could be wrong? These people are normal, bright, smart, promising and possess everything anybody could want in a friend. Could it be low self-esteem, fear, what exactly could make them have little or no friends?

Guess they have one problem, blending in

The environment you find yourself in might not be as friendly as you wanted or expected. However, here are some ways to blend in and make friends

1.       Your dressing matters:

The overused saying that the way you are dressed is the way you are addressed is a 120% true. In my own opinion, dressing is a crucial role when making friends. You need not dress gorgeously to attract or make friends. Dressing in a responsible and smart manner is enough to boost your confidence and make it easy to blend in and make friends.

 

2.       Be confident:

To sum up enough courage to walk up to people and attempt to create friendships could be an uphill task. It requires a lot of courage to command the respect you truly deserve. Such confidence would make people want to listen to you, confidence not only in your speech but also in your poise, carriage, gesture. Confidence also goes to the extent of being comfortable when talking to your soon-to- be friend.

3.       Understand them:

A proper fore-knowledge of the people around you could give you a specific edge that will make them want to be your friend. Proffering solutions to their problems instead of putting yourself first would be a good way to speed up the “friend making” process.

Appearance, confidence and understanding are the major factors undermined in making friends and building relationships.

Don’t just dress well but dress smartly, be courageous and show it, a high self-esteem is crucial and not forgetting that a knowledge could help a great deal.

THE BELIEVER

I could not hold it back

I was staring at him

When he looked at me,

I turned away

When he faced another direction

I continued to stare

He was only three years older than me

But he had achieved so much

Way too much for me to explain

Or try to fathom

As he continued to give his speech

I thought to myself

If he can do it then I can

I had read books of people

Who were determined to succeed

No matter what came their way

I had lost my dad

When I was five

My mum was blind

Not literal loss of sight

But she could not see me

Amounting to anything significant

So I decided to search

Search for mentors

Who could believe in my dreams

I wanted to be a DOCTOR

Yes, a doctor or no other profession

I had always hated

To see people in pain

And now my dream began to get blurry

So blur that at times

I doubted its feasibility

I decided to search for mentors

Who would believe in me

Make my dream clearer

This man talking was one of them

One of those who gave me hope

A reason to smile again

Made my bleak and dull future

Seem brighter than I ever

Thought it could be

Oh! Such joy

Joy of anticipated fulfillment

THE PERFECT MAN

THE PERFECT MAN

There was a couple I knew

Everything in their lives seemed perfect

They had love, they had wealth

Later on they had a son

He grew up to be handsome

He was right on top of his class

And also excellent in sports

Many people wanted to be his friend

Girls loved him

After college, he was a merchant

Who wisely saved, spent and invested money

When he was 30, he was a millionaire

But a part of this story is missing

Three years after his birth

His mum gave birth to another son

Also handsome but not as bright and smart

As his elder brother

When he went to his brother for help,

His brother pushed him aside

Like I said many people wanted to be his friend

But they could not

He was an introvert, did not care about others

THAT WAS HIS PROBLEM

A smart man with a great prospect

It is worthy of note that those girls

Who admired him and jostled around him for attention
were always pushed aside by him

He felt others even those close to him (parents and brother)

Were distractions to his success

He could not understand others

He was not comfortable around others and

Did not care about others

AGAIN, I SAY THAT WAS HIS PROBLEM.

No lady wants a man like this, especially in a time where woman is on the lookout for the PERFECT MAN, but there is nothing as bad as getting engaged to a man that is insensitive, unable to understand what you are going through or give you courage or support during your trying times.

Ladies are looking for Mr Right, a man with a couple of favourable attributes : 

A man who is funny, handsome, down-to-earth, caring, intelligent, charming, sexy (six packs), tall, rich, (a heavy six or seven figure monthly income) and the list goes on and on

Tyler Perry once made a joke about women looking for their perfect man and painted a clear scenario of a woman who five pages of attributes she wants in her man, but at the age of fifty, the five page long attributes drastically reduces to five letters.

“Lord, just let him breathe”.

Obviously, everybody need somebody to hold and cling on to but what should be the major attributes of your perfect man : 

1.         VISION

Ladies should look for a man who has a definite plan of what he wants to achieve not just a man who wants to get married, have kids, be rich, provide for his parents in their old age and die.

A man who is eager to make an impact on the society by either dedicating himself to a noble cause or standing for something that others will follow

2.       INDEPENDENT

Ladies, another attribute of a husband material is a man who can stand alone and can rely majorly on the resources at his disposal, not one who goes running to his parents when faced with any slight challenge but one who can depend on himself or else such a man is not ready to raise a family.

3.       GOOD LISTENER

 Listening, the quality in a man hat should be admired, a man who creates time to listen to what you feel and will be willing to listen to all have to say no matter how boring your speech may be. Scientists have proven that ladies feel better when they have someone who is always ready to listen to all they have to say. So ladies look for a good listener.

4.       CARING

Most men who are good and genuine listeners tend to be caring. Caring men don’t wait till you have something bothering you so that they will listen, they are able to recognize when you are not at your best. They are the ones that ask this rare question “How was your day?” This means that they are evidently concerned about your well being. 

5.       A COACH AND AN INSTRUCTOR

This is very important especially during child-raising. Women should appreciate men that are capable of being an instructor (not a harsh one) and a coach that would be able to complement her motherly duties of being a teacher. 

As we all know, mothers are teachers and fathers are trainers and instructors.  If a woman gets such a man, they will be able to raise a total child.

·         Let’s not forget that he must have a good character and be God-fearing.

Ladies, now you have it all, open your eyes clearly and choose wisely, God will direct your steps.

Thank You. Have a lovely day.